The Sopranos: Christopher Moltisanti’s 10 Best Quotes

The Sopranos: Christopher Moltisanti’s 10 Best Quotes

The brash Christopher Moltisanti is one of the many flawed characters on The Sopranos. However, he has some pretty raw quotes.
Some of the most memorable Christopher Moltisanti quotes on The Sopranos highlight why he was one of the most interesting characters in the acclaimed series. The Sopranos was a show known for its complex, and often unlikable, characters. Michael Imperioli’s performance as Christopher Moltisanti, an up-and-comer within the crime family, created one of the show’s longest-lasting and most vivid characters. He delivered a number of memorable lines, with some standing out as defining his character.

He was as brutish as his distant cousin, Tony Soprano (the head of the family), but, like Tony, he hid a more sensitive side from those around him. While acting as Tony’s protégé, Christopher would also pursue a career as a screenwriter throughout the show and it gave his character a particular penchant for memorable dialogue. From his complicated relationship with Tony to his entertaining bickering with Paulie to his tragic journey throughout the series, Christopher’s best quotes on The Sopranos highlight his arc.

10“Wait Here, I’ll Get Your Viagra.”

Season 6, Episode 8, “Johnny Cakes”

Even though he’s the youngest and by far the most inexperienced of Tony Soprano’s main crew, Christopher is never afraid to make jokes at the expense of the other crew members. Sitting outside, Tony spots a beautiful woman crossing the street who he points out to Silvio and Christopher. Silvio asserts “I could do that, no problem.” Without missing a beat, Christopher fires back with his putdown.

It’s also clever how Christopher is often looked down on by some of the others for being younger and not as experienced.

That kind of teasing is part of the crew’s dynamic and the fact that Christopher can give it as much as he can get it shows that he belongs with them. It’s also clever how Christopher is often looked down on by some of the others for being younger and not as experienced. Yet in this instance, he makes that age difference work to his advantage while insulting the older Silvio. However, even Christopher is not dumb enough to try that kind of joke on Tony.

9“In My Thoughts, I Used A Technique Of Positive Visualization. How Come I Always Feel Undermined?”

Season 1, Episode 2, “46 Long”

A source of many of Christopher’s problems is how unfulfilled he feels in general. He usually interprets this as a symptom of not moving up quickly enough within the crime family and it leads to him jumping the gun in numerous situations. After violently sorting out a big problem for Tony, but in an unprofessional manner, Christopher expects to become a made man and expresses his impatience to Tony in his typically philosophical manner; much to Tony’s amusement.

The Sopranos is a modern look at the mafia world and a lot of its most interesting aspects come from how the old ways of mobsters clash against progress. Just as with Tony going to therapy, Christopher using self-help jargon to talk about his own desires to move up in the organization is something now seen in many mob movies.

8″I Don’t Care If They Shove A Scud Missile Up Your Ass. This Is My Corner. You Pay Anyone But Me, I’m Coming Back For Your Thumb.”

Season 1, Episode 5, “46 Long”

For all of his problems, Christopher is undeniably good at being a gangster. He’s fearless and ready to throw down whenever it’s required of him. In this particular instance, he casually approaches a man in a friendly and conversational manner before suddenly beating him to the ground over a pay dispute. Once down on the ground, Christopher begins to strangle the man with his own yo-yo as he lays down the law of his territory.

The Sopranos’ characters are rich and complex people, but as likable as they may be at times, they still operate within this violent and nasty crime world. Christopher can sometimes seem endearing in his young naive ways, but moments like this are when the show likes to remind the viewers that these are dangerous people who are capable of extreme violence.

7“I’ll Leave You Here, You One Shoe C***sucker… You Know How Fast I Can Run, I’ll Leave You In The F***Ing Dust.”

Season 3, Episode 11, “Pine Barrens”

One of The Sopranos’ biggest rivalries was between Christopher and fellow gangster Peter “Paulie Walnuts” Gualtieri. Much older, and far less connected than Christopher, Paulie frequently butts heads with him over their standing in the gang and what each one thinks they owe the other. After botching a murder in the New Jersey Pine Barrens, the two become lost in the frozen maze of trees and quickly fall apart under the pressure.

After Paulie loses a shoe and night falls on them, the pair really begin to crack. “Pine Barrens” is often regarded as the best episode of The Sopranos and the interactions between these two characters are one of the reasons why. Though they like to present themselves as professionals while on the job, when alone, these two bicker like children. Christopher’s threatening to leave Paulie behind shows how immaturity overtakes these two grown men.

6“Why Don’t You Just F*** Yourself? Save A Little Money.”

Season 5, Episode 1, “Two Tonys”

The somewhat respectful, somewhat hateful, back-and-forth between Christopher and Paulie Walnuts follows the pair no matter where they are.

The somewhat respectful, somewhat hateful, back-and-forth between Christopher and Paulie Walnuts follows the pair no matter where they are. When one is happy, the other is often unhappy. When one is winning, the other is usually losing. The most tense their relationship becomes is when Christopher is getting ready to become a made man and Paulie relishes putting him through an initiation period.

This includes Christopher having to pay for the extravagant meal when he takes Paulie and the other men out. By this point, Christopher is fed up with being used. After Paulie suggests that he may go find “a broad” to cap off a great meal, Christopher makes his own suggestion as to what Paulie can go and do. Even when Christopher is close to getting the thing that he says he’s always wanted, he finds something to complain about and some reason to lash out.

5“Pours You A Drink With One Hand. Judges You With The Other If You Take It.”

Season 6, Episode 17, “Walk Like A Man”

Of all of Christopher’s difficult relationships throughout the show, none is more complicated than his one with Tony. Clearly, both characters are frustrated by one another. Christopher resents Tony for his lack of upward movement in the organization while Tony resents Christopher for his lack of reliability. Both are unable to fully express their frustrations as they’re family, but Christopher particularly as Tony is still his boss, above all else.

However, there are moments when Christopher lets his guard down and the truth about how he feels comes out. This rare assessment of Tony is only said to a group of people completely outside the mafia. It is a brilliant line that does highlight the relationship between the two. For Christopher, despite their closeness, every interaction he has with Tony is a test to see if Christopher really has what it takes to be in the family business.

4“You Touch A Single F***In’ Crust, You’re Gonna Wish You Took That Job At McDonald’s.”

Season 1, Episode 8, “The Legend Of Tennessee Moltisanti”

So much of Christopher’s personality comes from his fragile ego. He is in a world of men who demand respect as soon as they enter a room and any sign of disrespect cannot be tolerated. However, Christopher knows that he is not at that level, so he not only feels that he is always being disrespected but also that he needs to address it aggressively in order to prove himself.

When waiting for his turn in a bakery, Christopher becomes increasingly angry at the clerk serving fellow crew member Vito Spatafore before him. Not knowing who he’s talking to, the clerk refuses to back down. The situation continues to get worse until Christopher pulls out a gun and gets his pastries as he barks orders and fires bullets at the terrified clerk’s feet. It is a classic moment of Christopher trying to come off as tough but only succeeding in looking weak.

3“Louis Brasi Sleeps With The Fishes.”

Season 1, Episode 1, “Pilot”

One of the interesting things about The Sopranos as a mob story was that it took place in a world in which mob movies were such a well-known part of the mainstream. The show frequently alluded to the larger gangster stories of American pop culture, particularly the iconic movies that depicted the Italian mafia in America. In a sense, Christopher seemed less like a legitimate gangster and rather someone who was attempting to be the gangsters he saw in movies.

During a discussion with cohort Salvatore “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero over a murder that Christopher committed without authorization, Christopher attempts to shrug it off by misquoting the famous line from The Godfather, “Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes,” which Pussy corrects him on. Christopher sees himself as a gangster and a cinephile and this misquote shows that he might be neither.

2“What I’m Saying Is…”

Season 3, Episode 2, “Proshai, Livushka”

Full quote:

“They say there’s no two people on Earth exactly the same. No two faces. No two sets of fingerprints. But do they know that for sure? Because they would have to get everybody together in one huge space and obviously that’s not possible, even with computers. And not only that, they’d have to get all the people who’ve ever lived, not just the ones now. So they got no proof. They got nothing. Mrs. Soprano may have passed but who’s to say there isn’t another Mrs. Soprano just like her, or will be? Maybe not with the same fears and paranoia but the same. What I’m saying is…”

1“You Ever Feel Like Nothin’ Good Was Ever Gonna Happen To You?”

Season 1, Episode 8, “The Legend Of Tennessee Moltisanti”

The tragedy of Christopher is how consistently lost he feels throughout The Sopranos without ever really finding any resolution. He struggles with addiction but inevitably relapses into it. He achieves most of his professional goals in, and outside of, the mafia but he never truly feels fulfilled by any of it. He expresses this lack of contentment to several characters throughout the show and, in this particular instance, to Paulie Walnuts.

Paulie answers his question bluntly: “Yeah, and nothing ever did. So what?”

He talks about how he feels like a fictional character with no story arc and the resulting fear that his life will never have meaning. True to form, Paulie answers his question bluntly: “Yeah, and nothing ever did. So what?” In a way, this exchange foreshadows the separate paths these characters take. Paulie doesn’t mind feeling aimless and embraces it which leads to him being one of the only characters who lives to the end of The Sopranos. Christopher is troubled by the feeling and it ultimately leads to him destroying himself.

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